We are building relationships all wrong.
The benefits of knowing successful people are obvious; they give us advice, opportunities, and help mold us.
But too many people think of it one sided.
“What can I say to have this person give me a job?”
“Who do I have to be for this person to like me?”
This is networking: what can I do now to get something out of this person.
It’s selfish but most importantly it is ineffective.
You come off desperate, needy, and of less value.
Instead, think of building communities.
Building communities requires two major mind shifts:
1. You don’t want everyone to like you, only the ones that get you.
2. You give more than you take. You think long term because you want this relationship to last.
“Is this the kind of person I want in my life?”
“What can I do for this person that will benefit her life?”
It will be obvious that you are generous, kind, and confident.
Who wouldn’t be attracted to that.
So replace the networking mindset with one of community- your future friends will thank you for it.